"Jealous Behavior in the Office"

by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

Jealous behavior in the office can tear down employee morale, hinder
productivity, and put up road-blocks to creating a healthy environment.

When a person is jealous, those feelings of jealousy can show up for a
variety of reasons--other people's acquired items, their career success,
their beauty, their money, their seemingly perfect relationship, their
"beautiful" kids, or even their education.  Regardless, jealously can and
will ruin relationships rapidly if not dealt with.

Our relationship advice to overcome jealousy and enrich great relationships
involves changing what you think and how you act in moments when those
feelings overwhelm you.

If you feel that jealousy is a problem for you, don't let it take over your life. 
Do something about it with the tips offered to begin to help you heal:

1. Are your suspicions true or are you making up untrue stories when
jealous feelings come up for you? The stories you tell yourself may have
no basis of truth to them and may be "left over" from your experiences
of the past or there may be truth to what you are telling yourself. No
matter what's true and what isn't true, find out what's actually happening
and what isn't.

2. Take some time and get in touch with what you are feeling. Stop
what you are doing when those jealous feelings come up and just sit
and allow them to surface without judging them and without lashing
out at someone else. Whether there is any truth to what you are feeling
or not, allow your feelings to be there. If you sit long enough with
jealousy, you'll probably find that underneath is anger and underneath
the anger is fear.

You can ask yourself--"What am I really angry about?" or "What am I
really fearful will happen?" Just be with the answer that comes to you.
Whether there is truth to those feelings or not, just allow them to be. 
If you sit long enough with jealousy, you'll probably find that anger and
fear may reside.

3. Have the courage to face whatever is true. If there is truth to what
you fear is happening, then create a plan to confront the problem with
honesty. If there is no truth to your fears, then commit to yourself to
run a different "story" in your mind each time those fears come up. At
those times, remind yourself that you are only making up stories that
aren't true.

If the actions that you fear are actually happening, ask your partner to
change their behavior.  If they refuse or pretend to change but don't, then
you may need to decide if want to continue that relationship.  If you know
that you are "reliving" or making up stories, realize they may be untrue. 
You can then decide whether to change your beliefs and/or how to react.

Jealousy can be a wake-up call; a call to action to changing your life instead
of letting your fears get the best of you.  If you have this problem, know that
many people like you have healed and eliminated those feelings from their
lives. You can too.

When it comes to jealous behavior no matter how it shows up in your life,
it doesn't go away until you deal with the issues, make changes and keep
moving toward healing.  You can't blame others. You have to be committed
to changing yourself.

For a free mini-course on healing jealousy, visit http://www.jealousnomore.com/

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